Day: March 14, 2017

Let Go My Ego

Came across an intriguing book today, “The Daily Stoic” by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman. Each day offers up a passage on wisdom, perseverance, and the art of living. Today’s reading cautioned that what we think we know can often get in the way of learning what we need to know. I am sure we can all think of examples where that has been terribly true. For me it can be not listening well enough to someone else’s opinion – having thoughts running through my head to back up my thinking while I should be listening better to another’s ideas. And a list of other examples I’m sure …

As I was doing my chores in today’s weather (blizzard with incredibly strong winds) I realized I was talking away to myself … like a radio station … yada yada yada. I do that a lot. Although most times when I am at the manure bin I talk to my dad – not sure why – but he seems to wait there for me. 😉 I purposefully do not wear anything with headphones when I am outside. I love to listen to the birds, to the donkeys munching on hay and even to Miss Charlie yelling ‘Come back! Come back! Come back!’ from the coop. I got thinking about that reading from this morning. About fighting our egos out of the way so we can be more open observers. And there was my ego – following me in and out of the barns – across the paddocks – in and out of the garage.

When I am having a hard time falling asleep I will work at totally emptying my mind of all words. It is a stop and go process. But eventually they stop – and I sleep. This afternoon I worked at emptying my noggin’ of all but what I was hearing. It is hard for me to see Darby without saying ‘Darby’ in my head … Or to look out at the incredible blizzard without commenting on it … I’m a chatterbox in my own head. Even when I closed my eyes I would be commenting on what I was hearing. I think I snagged seconds here and there of a blank slate mind. It is hard to move that pushy ego away! What remains when the ego is not talking? I think it is something called the ‘id’ – our instinctual drive? My ego loves to talk … my id likes to let her!