One Day at a Time

10 comments

Thank you for all of your kind thoughts over the last few days. We are holding up here. Yesterday was a trial for all of us. I think on Wednesday I was so focused on helping Paco out of his pain that I had no space to think about ‘the day after’. And the jennies didn’t notice that anything was much out of whack … just that Paco seemed to be laying down a long time. I’m glad that I kept them all together while we helped Paco leave this life. He was reassured by their presence. I kept his body in the paddock with the girls for that day. They kept checking him out … at times moving quietly by him as if giving him the space to sleep. Eventually they began to try to nudge him awake. That is when we decided to wrap him up in a tarp and separate him from the main paddock. And that is also when the girls began to try to think through this strange thing that had happened to their buddy. When we did take him away I kept the girls in the front paddock.

But yesterday when he was gone we all felt the hole in our hearts. It is always a surprise to me how heavy sadness can be. The girls looked and looked for Paco – and called and called for him. They did not want to leave the back paddock. I think because they always stayed together and when they did move it was because Paco was leading the way. (Even if some of the time Darby was herding him from behind!) For me … my heart didn’t catch up to my brain until I found myself having to realize it had all been for real … he was really gone. Now I have to shake myself to remember that my whole incredible friendship with him was real. It sure was magical. So today we shook ourselves off … did the chores together … spent extra time on brushing and grooming and just being close by each other. Darby gets upset when either Ede or I leave the paddock and go inside. It is like it has dawned on her that buddies can ‘go away and not come back’. Our next door neighbour dropped by to give them extra hugs. He too has been hearing them braying – especially as mostly… they don’t.

I hope it doesn’t sound too awful for me to say that I was relieved today that I was so happy to be out there with the jennies. I was nervous that the heaviness of the sadness would affect how I love them all. Not. I’d do it all again in a heartbeat. Even knowing the ending for Paco and I. And I’m all the more aware of how special this time of my life is – being retired – and spending time with my beautiful, gentle, loving four legged family. Each day really is a gift. Life can end so suddenly. I plan to enjoy the dance as long as I can and the donkey hugs along the way.

Hugs from the Meadow Mice and the other critters to you.

10 comments on “One Day at a Time”

  1. Hey Gals ~ Thanks so much for reaching out today. I’m comforted knowing that you’re okay during this difficult transition. xoPam

    Sent from my iPad

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  2. I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s hard to describe to anyone just how much they mean to us. They are so gentle and sweet! I’m thankful every day that Bella found such a great home with you all!!!

    1. It means a LOT to me to hear from you Caroline. I’m thankful every day for the amazing little thing you brought to our family. She is WONDERFUL and funny and loving and so much more… AND she STILL will stand absolutely still for ages if you just will brush her. You taught her that. Hugs from Bella and us to your and yours.

  3. I was hoping there would be something from you today. We are so sorry for your loss. The end of an era for sure. Big hugs to all of you (furry and not). Love, Claire

  4. Hugs back to all of you thru my tears.
    My mom always told me where there is life there is death and we must accept this as part of life. She was an amazing mom and always ahead of her time when raising us. My thoughts are with all of you.

  5. So happy (to feel that you and the jennies will be okay) and sad to read this blog. Endings are indeed hard. But the only solution would be to never have that love in the first place and how sad that would be! The realization that nothing is permanent, nothing stays the same, does make our days so much more precious. Love to you both from Linda and me.

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